Why We Need to Stop Comparing Our Friends Success to Our Own

We're in an age where we feel like we have to have everything either figured out or of hit certain levels by a particular age. For example by my age, my parents had a mortgage, myself and then my little sister.

But today as we all know is so different, we are better at talking about how we feel and when there’s a struggle but there is one thing I've noticed lately: success.

What is success? Each person views it differently and depending on what they want from life. So why is it we always compare ourselves to people? Even if it's people from school on Facebook or Instagram, but the worse type is within your friendship groups. The best friends you've known and loved for years. When success happens for them you are pleased for them as they deserve it. But it's when things aren't perhaps going great your own end is when the horrible comparisons happen and we have to remember a few things:

1.       We are all at different stages of our lives

2.       Each circumstance is different

3.       As long as you are happy with your own life that is all that will truly matter. 

Being happy for me is a big success and I personally thought it's the hardest. You can have money and all the treasures, but does it still make you happy? Being happy for my friends are what make me happy. Knowing the crap they've been through in life and they've managed to be happy again is what true success is about. We must find our own happiness and we will all get there, the best way to accomplish this?

Time. It really is a healer, I know it's a cliché saying but this year has been a tricky one for me. I've had my beloved Nan die, something I never thought would happen. Up until then I would always compare my life to my friends, in the last 6 months I've had my childhood best friend get engaged and acquire a mortgage, alongside  my little sister getting engaged with a great job. 

I compared myself and thought how different my own life and how it wasn’t’ measuring up, but after the sudden shock of losing someone you snap out of it.

Life is so incredibly short ladies! 

We are so lucky to be given lots of opportunities and it's what we do with our life that counts, so what if you aren't a home owner by the age of 26? Or engaged by 30? It's the experience and lessons of life that what enriches us, and in the end that is what we towards on: happiness. 

You will not remember trivial possessions that make good Instagram posts; you’ll remember how kickass it was that you achieved happy memories with something simple as concerts, summer picnics and mini breaks with your best friends.

So my bit of advice is this: live your life for you, do not let anyone stand in the way of your happiness, after all it's your life and your story, each chapter something new and wonderful can begin. 

Work on yourself, become your own best friend and cheerleader. Celebrate your own successes, you wouldn’t berate a friend for talking to their selves the way you would to yourself would you?

Written for More Than A Millennial May 2017